Season 3
Episodes • 2001

1. The Thin White Line (1)
23 minBrian's keen sense of smell gets him a job with the police department.
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2. Brian Does Hollywood (2)
23 minBrian's first job in Hollywood is directing a pornographic film.
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3. Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington
23 minThe tobacco industry sends Peter to Washington to present a speech about smoking.
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4. One if by Clam, Two if by Sea
23 minWhen a hurricane strikes Quohog, everything is destroyed including The Drunken Clam, which is bought out by a Brit who turns it into an English pub. As it happens, pub owner Nigel Pinchley and his family move in next door to the Griffins, and Stewie tries to teach Nigel's Cockney-accented 3-year-old daughter how to speak proper English.
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5. And the Wiener Is...
23 minPeter joins a gun club to compensate for his lack of physical assets; Meg becomes the target of the "cool" gang's wrath.
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6. Death Lives
23 minAfter a near-death experience on his anniversary, Peter learns the importance of spending time with Lois.
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7. Lethal Weapons
23 minNew Yorkers invade the town in the fall; Lois hones her martial-arts skills.
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8. The Kiss Seen Around the World
23 minMeg lands an internship working with the school nerd at a television station.
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10. Fish out of Water
23 minWhen Peter decides to become a fisherman, he takes out a large loan to buy a fishing boat and unwittingly gives up everything he owns as collateral.
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11. Emission Impossible
23 minLois' pregnant sister inspires her and Peter to have another baby.
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12. To Love and Die in Dixie
23 minThe Griffins are put into the witness protection program.
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13. Screwed the Pooch
23 minPeter and Lois go to the Pewterschmidts for the weekend, bringing Brian along. Brian, meanwhile, has some "issues" of his own to work out. Find out if Brian's future is to make puppies or become "less" than he is.
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14. Peter Griffin: Husband, Father... Brother?
23 minWhile trying to teach Chris about his Irish roots, Peter stumbles upon Nate Griffin, a black man in his family tree. Peter tries to embrace his new-found heritage, but can’t quite get the hang of it. When Lois’ father, Carter Pewtershmidt, sits the Griffin kids down for a look at his family genealogy, a dark secret is uncovered.
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15. Ready, Willing, and Disabled
23 minJoe gets discouraged, losing his self-confidence, after he loses a thief in a chase. Peter wants to help Joe get back to his old self so he volunteers to help train him for the decathlon at the Olympics for handicapped athletes. Peter puts steroids into Joe's drink, pushing Joe on to victory. Meanwhile, Stewie, Meg, and Brian fight over $26.
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16. A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas
23 minChristmas comes to Quahog! While Lois attempt to make the holidays perfect for the Griffin family, Peter messes it up. Meanwhile, Stewie learns of Santa Claus’ ability to keep 24-hour surveillance on all the world’s children.
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17. Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows
23 minBrian is sentenced to care for a crabby old woman; Peter's beard becomes a home for birds.
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18. From Method to Madness
23 minStewie attempts a career in show business; Meg dates a nudist.
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19. Stuck Together, Torn Apart
23 minPeter's jealously forces a trial separation; Stewie and Brian get glued together.
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20. Road to Europe
23 minStewie goes to England to take refuge in his favorite television show, while Lois embarrasses Peter at a KISS concert.
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21. Family Guy Viewer Mail #1
23 minViewer mail inspires three stories in which Peter loses his bones, the Griffins gain superpowers, and Peter and his friends appear as eight-year-old "Little Rascals."
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22. When You Wish Upon a Weinstein
23 minThe day that Peter buys volcano insurance is the day that Lois becomes fed up with their constant money problems.
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