Season 3

Episodes • 2001

Seth MacFarlane
Alex Borstein
Mila Kunis
Seth Green
The Thin White Line (1)

1. The Thin White Line (1)

23 min

Brian's keen sense of smell gets him a job with the police department.

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Brian Does Hollywood (2)

2. Brian Does Hollywood (2)

23 min

Brian's first job in Hollywood is directing a pornographic film.

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Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington

3. Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington

23 min

The tobacco industry sends Peter to Washington to present a speech about smoking.

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One if by Clam, Two if by Sea

4. One if by Clam, Two if by Sea

23 min

When a hurricane strikes Quohog, everything is destroyed including The Drunken Clam, which is bought out by a Brit who turns it into an English pub. As it happens, pub owner Nigel Pinchley and his family move in next door to the Griffins, and Stewie tries to teach Nigel's Cockney-accented 3-year-old daughter how to speak proper English.

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And the Wiener Is...

5. And the Wiener Is...

23 min

Peter joins a gun club to compensate for his lack of physical assets; Meg becomes the target of the "cool" gang's wrath.

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Death Lives

6. Death Lives

23 min

After a near-death experience on his anniversary, Peter learns the importance of spending time with Lois.

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Lethal Weapons

7. Lethal Weapons

23 min

New Yorkers invade the town in the fall; Lois hones her martial-arts skills.

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The Kiss Seen Around the World

8. The Kiss Seen Around the World

23 min

Meg lands an internship working with the school nerd at a television station.

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Mr. Saturday Knight

9. Mr. Saturday Knight

23 min

Peter decides to pursue his dream career as a knight.

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Fish out of Water

10. Fish out of Water

23 min

When Peter decides to become a fisherman, he takes out a large loan to buy a fishing boat and unwittingly gives up everything he owns as collateral.

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Emission Impossible

11. Emission Impossible

23 min

Lois' pregnant sister inspires her and Peter to have another baby.

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To Love and Die in Dixie

12. To Love and Die in Dixie

23 min

The Griffins are put into the witness protection program.

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Screwed the Pooch

13. Screwed the Pooch

23 min

Peter and Lois go to the Pewterschmidts for the weekend, bringing Brian along. Brian, meanwhile, has some "issues" of his own to work out. Find out if Brian's future is to make puppies or become "less" than he is.

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Peter Griffin: Husband, Father... Brother?

14. Peter Griffin: Husband, Father... Brother?

23 min

While trying to teach Chris about his Irish roots, Peter stumbles upon Nate Griffin, a black man in his family tree. Peter tries to embrace his new-found heritage, but can’t quite get the hang of it. When Lois’ father, Carter Pewtershmidt, sits the Griffin kids down for a look at his family genealogy, a dark secret is uncovered.

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Ready, Willing, and Disabled

15. Ready, Willing, and Disabled

23 min

Joe gets discouraged, losing his self-confidence, after he loses a thief in a chase. Peter wants to help Joe get back to his old self so he volunteers to help train him for the decathlon at the Olympics for handicapped athletes. Peter puts steroids into Joe's drink, pushing Joe on to victory. Meanwhile, Stewie, Meg, and Brian fight over $26.

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A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas

16. A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas

23 min

Christmas comes to Quahog! While Lois attempt to make the holidays perfect for the Griffin family, Peter messes it up. Meanwhile, Stewie learns of Santa Claus’ ability to keep 24-hour surveillance on all the world’s children.

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Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows

17. Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows

23 min

Brian is sentenced to care for a crabby old woman; Peter's beard becomes a home for birds.

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From Method to Madness

18. From Method to Madness

23 min

Stewie attempts a career in show business; Meg dates a nudist.

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Stuck Together, Torn Apart

19. Stuck Together, Torn Apart

23 min

Peter's jealously forces a trial separation; Stewie and Brian get glued together.

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Road to Europe

20. Road to Europe

23 min

Stewie goes to England to take refuge in his favorite television show, while Lois embarrasses Peter at a KISS concert.

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Family Guy Viewer Mail #1

21. Family Guy Viewer Mail #1

23 min

Viewer mail inspires three stories in which Peter loses his bones, the Griffins gain superpowers, and Peter and his friends appear as eight-year-old "Little Rascals."

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When You Wish Upon a Weinstein

22. When You Wish Upon a Weinstein

23 min

The day that Peter buys volcano insurance is the day that Lois becomes fed up with their constant money problems.

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