Season 3
Episodes • 2005

1. Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
22 minAfter falling off the roof, Alan needs Charlie's help in looking after Jake, which interferes with Charlie's social life.
▶ Watch Episode
2. Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
22 minJake gets suspended from school after drawing an offensive picture of a girl in his class that has large breasts. Meanwhile, Charlie is asked to watch over Alan's chiropractic office after pulling an all-nighter.
▶ Watch Episode
3. Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
22 minAlan has been dating a lot, and Charlie soon finds out that it has been one woman - his ex-wife, Judith. He tries to stop Alan, and even brings Rose, Evelyn and Berta to interfere - but Alan ignores them all.
▶ Watch Episode
4. Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
22 minBerta causes tension between Charlie and Alan, when she temporarily moves in with them
▶ Watch Episode
5. We Called It Mr. Pinky
21 minCharlie learns he can't be in a long-lasting relationship, becuase of unresolved issues he has with his mother. Jake asks Charlie for advice about a girl at school.
▶ Watch Episode
6. Hi, Mr. Horned One
21 minIgnoring Alan's warnings, Charlie continues to date Isabella until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.
▶ Watch Episode
7. Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
22 minCharlie wakes up with Rose the morning after her birthday party. Her irate father comes to ask Charlie about what the future holds for him and Rose, but the unexpected happens when Evelyn shows up.
▶ Watch Episode
8. That Voodoo That I Do Do
21 minCharlie tricks Jake into taking ballet lessons, so he can get close to the teacher.
▶ Watch Episode
9. Madame and Her Special Friend
21 minOne of Charlie's elderly neighbors tries to seduce Alan, while Charlie tries to stop Jake from giving money to a televangelist.
▶ Watch Episode
10. Something Salted and Twisted
22 minCharlie helps Alan with his obsession of always having to get approval from the women in his life.
▶ Watch Episode
11. Santa's Village of the Damned
22 minAlan starts dating a woman with a Martha Stewart complex. Before long she's running the house with an obsession for perfection.
▶ Watch Episode
12. That Special Tug
22 minCharlie sees a therapist to learn how to deal with Alan's emotional insecurities.
▶ Watch Episode
13. Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
22 minCharlie finds himself in a relationship that is not based on sex.
▶ Watch Episode
14. Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
22 minCharlie arranges a romantic date with Mia in the hopes of consummating their relationship. Alan begins to date Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.
▶ Watch Episode
15. My Tongue Is Meat
22 minCharlie has trouble keeping up with Mia's healthy lifestyle, so he begins to sneak beers, cigars, and burgers behind her back. When Mia finds out what he was doing, Charlie has to decide if he is truly in love with her or just whipped.
▶ Watch Episode
16. Ergo, the Booty Call
22 minAlan has trouble deciding if he should bring his younger girlfriend to Jake's birthday party to meet his mom and his ex-wife. Rose tries to get her boyfriend to act more like Charlie.
▶ Watch Episode
17. The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
21 minCharlie is nominated for an advertising award, but he decides to boycott it because his arch nemesis always wins. The rest of his family tries to trick him into going. Rose is having relationship problems with Gordon and seeks help from Charlie.
▶ Watch Episode
18. The Spit-Covered Cobbler
21 minAlan starts to have financial problems when he starts paying for his girlfriend's bills, so Charlie tries to get him to break up with her. Meanwhile, Judith is after Alan because he is late in paying his alimony check.
▶ Watch Episode
19. Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
22 minCharlie is surprised to find out that Kandi has been living with them for the last three weeks. Alan is having a tough time helping Kandi earn a living. Charlie has lost his sense because of the dry-spell he is going through.
▶ Watch Episode
20. Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
21 minAlan tries to win Kandi back. Meanwhile, Charlie starts to sleep with her mom, Mandi, and Judith gets set up with her father, Andy.
▶ Watch Episode
21. And the Plot Moistens
21 minJake’s teacher has a meeting with Alan and Judith to discuss the lack of interest Jake has at school. Alan starts to fall for Francine, in a platonic way, because he is tired of the lack of intelligent communication he has with Kandi. Charlie helps Jake audition for his school musical.
▶ Watch Episode
22. Just Once with Aunt Sophie
22 minA girl from Jake’s school invites him to his first boy-girl party. Charlie and Alan help him get ready for it by giving him advice. Alan and Charlie get nostalgic and remember their first boy-girl party.
▶ Watch Episode
23. Arguments for the Quickie
22 minMia comes back to town with her dance troupe and invites Charlie to her performance. At first, he decides not to go and tries to convince Alan that he no longer has feelings for her. He goes to the see the performance and Mia explains that she wants some of Charlie’s sperm. Charlie responds by asking Mia for something.
▶ Watch Episode
24. That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
21 minCharlie and Mia start making their wedding arrangements. Things begin to fall apart when their two families meet each other. They eventually decide on a small ceremony in Las Vegas.
▶ Watch Episode



