Season 3

Episodes • 1990

Roseanne Barr
John Goodman
Alicia Goranson
Sara Gilbert
Michael Fishman
Laurie Metcalf
The Test

1. The Test

23 min

Becky is eager to practice for her driving test, and the rest of the family awaits the results of Roseanne's pregnancy test.

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Friends and Relatives

2. Friends and Relatives

23 min

Lending money to pal Arnie comes easily for Dan, but he believes that borrowing from family only adds up to disaster.

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Like, a Virgin

3. Like, a Virgin

23 min

Roseanne decides it's time to give Becky "the talk", unaware that it's Darlene who needs it more.

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Like, a New Job

4. Like, a New Job

23 min

Despite her misgivings, Roseanne, working late as a coffee-shop waitress, leaves Dan in charge of the kids.

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Goodbye, Mr. Right

5. Goodbye, Mr. Right

23 min

After Police Officer Jackie gets slightly injured, Gary says he's tired of always worrying about her and wants her to quit her job as a Police Woman. Meanwhile, Becky and Darlene find something disturbing under D.J.'s bed that makes them believe he's a complete psycho.

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Becky, Beds and Boys

6. Becky, Beds and Boys

23 min

Becky's folks pressure her to stop dating a boy.

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Trick or Treat

7. Trick or Treat

23 min

Roseanne, mistaken for a guy in her lumberjack Halloween costume, plays along with some braggarts and learns about machismo.

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PMS, I Love You

8. PMS, I Love You

23 min

Roseanne's PMS day and Dan's birthday are on a collision course.

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Bird is the Word

9. Bird is the Word

23 min

Becky is suspended for allegedly making an obscene gesture in her class photo which makes her suddenly popular at school, but Roseanne is the one called into the principal's office.

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Dream Lover

10. Dream Lover

23 min

Dan ill-advisedly tells Roseanne he's having dreams of a mysterious, and oddly homely, other woman.

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Do You Know Where Your Parents Are?

11. Do You Know Where Your Parents Are?

23 min

Since the girls continually break curfew, Dan and Roseanne celebrate the anniversary of their first lovemaking by revisiting the restaurant/hotel and staying out very, very late, hoping to teach the girls a lesson, with the help of Officer Jackie.

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Confessions

12. Confessions

23 min

An angry and deflated Roseanne discovered that her mother always thought sister Jackie had more potential.

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The Courtship of Eddie, Dan's Father

13. The Courtship of Eddie, Dan's Father

23 min

Dan's visiting father astonishes everyone by announcing his plans to marry Crystal.

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The Wedding

14. The Wedding

23 min

Against Dan's wishes, Roseanne forges ahead with wedding preparations, with Crystal revealing she's pregnant with Ed's child.

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Becky Doesn't Live Here Anymore

15. Becky Doesn't Live Here Anymore

23 min

Becky runs away from home to live with Jackie.

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Home-Ec

16. Home-Ec

23 min

Darlene is embarassed when Roseanne gives Darlene's home economics class a supermarket lesson in real-life family budgeting; D.J. has to deal with a bully.

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Valentine's Day

17. Valentine's Day

23 min

Roseanne is mad at Dan for forgetting Valentine's Day, so he winds up full-figure lingerie shopping; and Darlene's upset when a boy she likes asks out Becky instead.

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Communicable Theater

18. Communicable Theater

23 min

Roseanne is torn between taking care of her flu-stricken husband and helping Jackie learn lines for her play.

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Vegas Interruptus

19. Vegas Interruptus

23 min

Roseanne may lose her job if she and Dan go on their long-awaited trip to see Wayne Newton perform in Las Vegas.

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Her Boyfriend's Back

20. Her Boyfriend's Back

23 min

Frustrated because her parents can't afford the car she wants, Becky and her boyfriend, Mark, borrow Dan's treasured motorcycle against his orders.

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Troubles with the Rubbles

21. Troubles with the Rubbles

23 min

The new wife next door, Kathy Bowman, looks down on Roseanne and complains that D.J. is a bad influence on her son Todd.

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Second Time Around

22. Second Time Around

23 min

Roseanne helps Crystal with her Lamaze classes; Dan's near-fatal accident at work makes D.J. follow him obsessively; Dan and Roseanne sit up all night doing their wills, and Jackie is offended that she doesn't get custody of the kids.

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Dances with Darlene

23. Dances with Darlene

23 min

Roseanne tries to convince Darlene to wear something feminine to a big school dance -- but she'd rather attract attention for her softball skills.

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Scenes from a Barbecue

24. Scenes from a Barbecue

23 min

The Connors celebrate Mother's Day with a barbecue with Roseanne's feisty grandmother.

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The Pied Piper of Lanford

25. The Pied Piper of Lanford

23 min

Dan and Roseanne commit to opening a motorcycle shop with a free-spirited old friend who gets cold feet at the last minute.

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