Season 7
Episodes • 1982

1. Sorry, Wrong Lips
30 minDebbie Reynolds plays an actress whose torrid memoirs convince Mel he's the one she remembers as the greatest kisser in her life.
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2. Do You Take . . . ?
30 minMel tries to outdo an old buddy who shows up boasting a track record of fast living and sporting a blonde on his arm as proof.
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3. The Secret of Mel's Diner
30 minThere's gold in them there walls, or so Mel reckons after learning that the eccentric who built his diner left $20,000 stashed in another building.
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4. Alice at the Palace
30 minJoel Grey offers his services gratis as the leading man in a musical revue bankrolled by Mel and featuring Alice. Mel, however, has never heard of Grey and gives the role to his bookie.
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5. Joel Grey Saves the Day
30 minJoel Grey walks out after producer Mel turns a revue about New York into a desert musical with tunes like ""Two Tootsies from Tucson"" and ""Ramona from Arizona.""
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6. Alice's Turkey of a Thanksgiving
30 minAlice's meddlesome mother knocks the stuffing out of her daughter's Thanksgiving dinner.
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7. Carrie on the Rebound
30 minCarrie is slow to come out of a depression after a quickie divorce.
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8. Jolene's Brother Jonas
30 minJolene's brother pays a surprise visit, but the surprise is on him, he gets an icy reception from his sister.
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9. Alice Sees the Light
30 minEveryone takes with a grain of salt Alice's claim that she saw a UFO.
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10. Vera the Virtuoso
30 minVera, whose cello playing can reduce a virtuoso to tears, is asked to play in a local string quartet.
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11. Alice Faces the Music
30 minThe waitresses pit their musical knowledge against that of three plumbers on a TV quiz show.
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12. Tommy, the Jailbird
30 minAlice fears that freshman Tommy is abusing his new freedom away from home by majoring in extracurricular activities.
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13. Jolene and the Night Watchman
30 minJolene can't bring herself to bruise the tender feelings of a bruiser who saved her life and now considers her his girl.
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14. Mel's Dream Car
30 minMel is stripping his gears over his jazzy new Porsche he purchased for a measly $20.
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15. Come Back Little Sharples
30 minMel has had it up to his keister with the way things are going so he absconds to his apartment for a beer and pizza binge.
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16. Vera, the Torch
30 minVera wishes her landlady the worst for evicting her pets then feels responsible when the old crank's apartment catches on fire.
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17. The Grass is Always Greener
30 minIn role reversals, Mel becomes an employee by accepting an executive position with a catering firm, and the waitresses become owners by buying his diner.
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18. Tommy Fouls Out
30 minAfraid that he's lost the ""right stuff,"" Tommy quits the basketball team.
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19. Vera on the Lam
30 minAfter Mel decides to have the waitresses bonded, Vera owns up to a criminal past and takes it on the lam.
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20. Mel's Cousin Wendy?
30 minTo steal a competitor's secret sauce recipe, Mel persuades his cousin to pose as a woman and apply for a job as a Burger Baby.
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21. Sweet Erasable Mel
30 minMel's experiment with a computer goes well until Vera enters a transaction and erases every trace of Mel's financial existance.
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22. Tommy Hyatt, Business Consultant
30 minUsing Tommy's marketing advice, Mel increases his business but also learns he's heading for bankruptcy.
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23. Jolene Lets the Cat Out of the Bag
30 minJolene's hair is standing on end with a cat burglar prowling her neighborhood.
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